Does Donald Trump Think He Is John Wayne in a Spaghetti Western?

US Foreign Policy: “Knocking Out Tough Hombres” in Mexico

I hate to sound like I am slamming John Wayne by even putting the departed actor in the same headline as Donald Trump. Because despite some of the cartoonish cowboy roles Wayne played, he had some depth of soul, while Trump appears to be a cartoon figure inside and out.

The latest spectacle is the CNN release of a transcript in which Trump, in a phone call last Friday, talks cowboy with Mexican president Pena Nieto.

“You have some pretty tough hombres in Mexico that you may need help with. We are willing to help with that big league, but they have to be knocked out and you have not done a good job knocking them out.”

I don’t know about you, but this kind of foreign diplomacy sounds like Trump is taking cues from old time Hollywood westerns. Next he will address a Native American representative with a Tonto-esque “kemosabe” or even worse, greet with the cowboy film staple: “How.”

But beyond the cringe-worthy simplicity of Trump’s speech patterns and lexicon is the question of what he is actually offering the Mexican president? Is Trump suggesting the US will send in “big-league” troops to help “knock out” drug lords (and, you know, rapists) south of the border? If that’s the case, those troops will need to scale the soon to be built wall before knocking out the bad guys. (And am I the only one who imagines the wall is just another Trump Tower, replete with lavish fixtures and bankruptcy outcomes?)

Let’s face it. Donald Trump sounds increasingly like someone who might actually be a zombie shell of a person inhabited by aliens who are taking their linguistic cues from 1950’s movies.

Sure, it’s hard to sound modern-day human when you are actually a consortium of off-world entities trying hard to get by on old film script dialogue. And it’s even harder if your zombie-puppet keeps making exotic facial gestures that look like the alien-possession crew has yet to master human expression. (Just google Donald Trump and facial gestures for evidence of my alien possession theory…or watch this video).

As for John Wayne having a deep soul (because I know you are still wondering about that), I leave you with this wisdom quote of Wayne’s from a 1971 Playboy interview.

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”

May we all learn something from last Friday’s Trump phone call to the president of Mexico.

Aliens are among us. And they love a good spaghetti western.